“The best way to escape reality without running is through smiling… Even though it’s obviously fake”..
I quoted this from the character of Sai of the Japanese anime titled Naruto. I can still remember when I watched that episode years ago… It hit me with a massive impact leaving me stunned as if he were saying those words to my face. Since then, it beca
me a habit of me to always put this quotation everywhere.. at the back of my journal, on my phone, on the wall of my room and even on different social networking sites…
Why am I sharing this?
The one who fakes a smile.
This is the brief and the simplest definition of the word eccedentesiast. Damn.. I’ve been living in this world for 23 years and I’m surprised to know that there is a specific word existing which refers to such person.. Like me.
I used to it. I mean.. I do it everyday in my life. It is a part of me. I do it mostly when I’m nervous ..when I’m in pain.. when I’m sad..when I’m weary.. ..when madness wraps around my body and soul .. when I’m pissed off or even when I want to piss someone off. People find it irritating. But as for me… It is not just a mask that is capable to hide what I really feel inside. It has been more than a disguise for me. I find it as a pain killer which may only last for a short while but somehow eases my feeling no matter how much I’ve been hurt. It often comforts me when I’m going through a hard times. It gives me hope in some way…making me realize that the world won’t stop spinning if I keep my head down with a creased face. This tiny line that draws on my face is another way for me to show others unintentionally the unfathomable side of me… To let them see that I may not be okay right now..but I’m trying to be ..and I’m sure I’ll be eventually.
I honestly came to a point once in my life where I asked myself if this is a bad thing about me that I should get over with. But I think.. I have just already answered my own question and it can never be possible for me to stop faking a smile. It’s my nature.