“The best way to escape reality without running is through  smiling… Even though it’s obviously fake”..

I quoted this from the character of  Sai of the  Japanese anime titled  Naruto. I can still remember when I  watched that episode years ago… It  hit me with a massive impact leaving me stunned as if he were saying those words to my face. Since then, it beca
imageme a habit of me to always put this quotation  everywhere.. at the back of my  journal, on my phone, on the wall of my room and even on different social networking sites…

Why am I sharing this?

The one who fakes a smile.
This is the brief and the simplest definition of the word eccedentesiast. Damn.. I’ve been living in this world for 23 years and I’m surprised to know that there is a specific word existing  which refers to  such person.. Like me.

I used to it. I mean.. I do it everyday in my life.  It is a part of me. I do it mostly when I’m nervous ..when I’m in pain.. when I’m sad..when I’m weary..  ..when madness wraps  around my body and soul .. when I’m pissed off or even when I want to piss  someone off. People find it irritating. But as for me… It is not just a mask that is capable to  hide what I really feel inside. It has been more than a  disguise for me. I find it as a pain killer which may only last for a short while but somehow eases my feeling no matter how much I’ve been hurt. It  often comforts me when I’m going through a hard times. It gives me hope in some way…making me realize that the world won’t stop spinning if I keep my head down with a  creased face.  This tiny line that draws on my face is another way for me to show others unintentionally the unfathomable side of me… To let them see that I may not be okay right now..but I’m trying to be ..and I’m sure I’ll be eventually.

I honestly came to a point once in my life where I asked myself if this is a bad thing about me  that I  should get over with. But I think.. I have just  already answered my own question and it can never be possible for me to stop faking a smile. It’s my nature.


11 thoughts on “Eccedentesiast

  1. Why would you fake a smile? Don’t you find it had to smile when you are in pain? The effort you take to put up that brave smile is much more than just showing how you feel in that situation, in my opinion. If you feel someone is hurting you, you should just let it out rather than suffering on your own.
    That is what I would do if I was in your situation.

    p.s. Have you watched Oregairu? (Yahari ore no seishun love come wa machigatteiru?) Do watch it if you haven’t. You’ll feel different. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for sharing your opinion… So much appreciated ! Ofcourse I can express what I feel …but it’s kinda hard for me to do that (all the time) 😀
      By the way.. I have just read the plot and it sounded really interesting.. I will watch that one for sure 🙂 I’ll let you know once I have finished watching … 13 episodes right ??


      1. Yup! 13 wonderful real life episodes which I can relate to really really well! 🙂
        Also, once you’ve done that,try Hyouka. It’s more of a mystery romance thing but the ending will bring a huge smile to your face. (^_^)


      2. I like the hachiman x yukino pair a lot! He is a really wise character and one of the best protagonists last year in my opinion. 🙂


      3. You are welcome. Glad you liked it. 🙂
        Super duper-> It’s been a very long time since I heard that! XD

        Try Hyouka next. If you like mystery themed anime, this is a ‘must’ watch! The ending will bring a smile on your face ( a genuine one! 🙂 )

        Liked by 1 person

      4. He he:) really ? When was the last time? (just curious)
        Mystery ? I like mysteries in all its guises .. Hehe
        Hmm okay !.. I will watch that one (though I like bitter ending more) 😀


  2. You may always answer your own question if the right questions are asked. It is part of us. If I ask you the right questions , you will eventually get to the answer you are looking for. It’s about asking the right questions or talking until they come out.
    Oh, I like the story also…

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s